Dealing with Failure

"Success teaches us nothing; only failure teaches."

-Admiral Hyman G. Rickover, 1954

I am no stranger to failure. Such is the life of the scientist. However, it is impossible to discover anything if a single failure, or even years of failures, result in quitting the project. Throughout my life, I have slowly improved my methods for dealing with failures and other negative emotions. I would like to discuss some of them here. I chose the cover photo of the Michelson-Morely Experiment as an example of when a "failure" turned out to revolutionize physics.

What is Failure?

I think that failure is a disconnect with the expected results of an action and the actual results of that action. This results in a negative emotion because we humans dislike things that do not behave as expected. When I go back and try to repeat a failure in the lab, I get the feeling of success, because the action resulted in the expected result, even though that result is not what I was looking for. I do not think that failure is merely a negative result. 

The Art of Dealing with Failure

The most effective way I have found to deal with failure is to do something I know I will be successful at. This mends the weaknesses in my confidence, by showing me that I can still do the things I could do before, that failure has not defined me. I like to do meditative tasks, either ones that put me in the present, or ones that make the present meaningless. 

Presence

To return myself to the present, I like to organize and clean stuff. It is something I know I will be successful doing, and I don't need to put much thought into it. The process of cleaning is immensely satisfying, it is amazing to see a space go from cluttered to neat or a table to get polished. It's all the more satisfying that I know that I am improving the world with my two hands. Organizing and cleaning extends to repairing equipment, one of my biggest hobbies.

Another way I put myself back into the present is writing poetry discussing how I am feeling. In a way, it's kind of the inverse of cleaning, a wholly mental task, rather than a wholly physical one. Writing down one's feelings is known to be an effective tool to address stress, and the act of writing them as poetry helps me further. I think that the focus on rhyme and rhythm requires me to slow down and really think, while also showing me that it's just words, that my problem is real, but also expressible. And if a problem is expressible, it is probably solvable.

Making the Present Meaningless

Making the present meaningless means achieving an altered state of consciousness. Altered states of consciousness have the unfortunate connotation of drug use, something I avoid. I find altered states of consciousness via music and dancing. I discovered the power of altered states of consciousness while in my first mosh pit. I had been stressed about school, but when dancing in the pit, everything just evaporated, nothing else existed but the music. I had another experience lying out in the grass at a blues concert, it was just me, the sun, and the music. Even though I am not a very good dancer, I still dance most chances I get, because it feels so freeing to become one with the music. 

Failing easy access to live music, I like to do manual labor. It's relaxing to only have to care about digging a hole or splitting logs. Again, it is just me, the sun, and nature. Doing manual labor also gives me the satisfaction of having completed something with my hands.